All dressed up and nowhere to go

Now that the air and sea cargo has been packed up and is on its way, I find I have almost nothing to do.  My clothes are all folded and ready to go into suitcases.  Friends are arriving this evening for a quick farewell drinkie (or two).  I need to make a few phone calls to family and friends.  But that's pretty much it.  I liken my present state of mind/activity to being all decked out for a party and finding out that I'm an hour early.

So what exactly am I filling my time with in these last few days before we head over to our new home?  Well, here's a short list to keep you entertained:

1.  I finally finished sewing the sleeve seam for a baby jacket and can now send it off in the mail.

2.  I had my hair cut.

3.  I'm reading Ken Follett's Eye of the Needle.  Again.

4.  I've done up my syllabus for the coming semester.

5.  I just read a couple of pieces (Asimov and Sagan) from Great Essays in Science.

6.  I'm about to head over to the Waitrose to pick up snacks for tonight's drinks party.

7.  I made a really yummy potato salad for dinner.

8.  I turned myself from a blonde to a brunette.

I hope you're now as bored as I am.

Getting (E)mail in the desert

I don't really care much about snail mail capabilities.  No one ever sends me mail anyway, except for my grandparents, and we'll work something out just for them.

But take away my email for a day and the pit bull will emerge.

See, I, probably more than most people, have a very close relationship with my computer.  I use it for everything:  reading the news, checking the time, converting currency, researching whatever, running stats, shopping, sending cards, keeping my diary, looking up recipes (particularly handy when your cookbooks are in the middle of the ocean), and of course, email.  I need my computer, and it needs me.

It shouldn't come as a surprise, then, that high up on the list of priorities is establishing an internet connection at our new villa (note I did not say "wreck" because, as of this past weekend, the villa is ready).

There are a few choices of ISPs in Abu Dhabi, and they all rhyme with "Etisalat."  Hurrah for state monopolies.  So off I go to dig around the Etisalat site.

Like most commercial sites, and certainly like most commercial sites in the UAE, the Etisalat webpage is about as navigable as the Bermuda Triangle (no doubt my clever master mariner friend will point out to me that the Bermuda Triangle is super-navigable, but it sounded good anyway).  So I'm going to point to a few key pages for the benefit of those who have even less patience than I.

All-in-One 3-pack:  Landline, TV, and Internet

Dhs 422 for the Gold package (download speed of 2 Mbps -- that's b for bits, not B for Bytes)

Dhs 522 for the Platinum package (download speed of 4 Mbps)

Dhs 280 for installation of either

All-in-One 2-pack:  Landline and Internet

Dhs 363 for the Gold package

Dhs 464 for the Platinum package

Dhs 180 for installation of either

Al Shamil:  Broadband Internet only

Dhs 449 (4 Mbps)

Dhs 349 (2 Mbps)

Dhs 249 (1 Mbps)

Dhs 200 for installation of any

Dhs 180 for wired modem

Holy expensive Internet, Batman!

That's USD 122.00 or GBP 74.00 per month for a lousy 4 Megabits per second connection speed.  Stateside a few years ago, we were paying about $30 a month for DSL and here in the UK we've got a brilliant international phone plan/broadband (8 Mbps, thank you very much) package for 30 quid.  I guess Etisalat is making up for the fact that all those Skype users are still getting away with making free VoIP calls to their friends and loved ones back home.

As of now, I don't know which we'll be using.  One of us hasn't watched telly since Seinfeld was still running, the other probably goes back even farther.  We've got mobile phones (I hate the things, but my husband makes me carry one around for emergencies).  So we don't really need the bundled package, but since the 2 Mbps All-in-One 3-pack costs less than the 4 Mbps Internet-only option, maybe I'll just start watching Turner Classic Movies on a regular basis.

Getting mail in the desert

I recently sent out an email broadcast to friends and family informing them of our upcoming move and providing change of address details.  Well, sort of.  That change of address part was rather difficult, as although we have a current address, we're not going to have anything to change it to.  This bit of information has been plaguing my mum (consider what an effective plague this would have been on top of gnats, incurable boils, and locusts) so I think it's high time I let her know that I am, in fact, thinking about how to get mail over in Abu Dhabi.  Maybe it will help out a few other people as well.

The truth is, there are no street addresses in Abu Dhabi.  There is mail, however -- it's just delivered to post office boxes.   Well, maybe it's delivered to post office boxes eventually.  But we now know that the word "eventually" has its roots in the Arabic word for "youmightgetitonedayoryoumightnot."  And to be perfectly honest, after spending my entire life in places that have little men coming to my door daily, I'm too spoiled to be enthusiastic about having to drive somewhere on a regular basis to pick up my mail.  So what to do?

There are a number of solutions, most of which come at a cost.  I'll outline a few of them here:

1.  Snail mail to your post office box in Abu Dhabi.

I don't really like this idea, but I suppose it works.  And the Emirates Post website has detailed information on renting a private p.o. box.  In fact, it appears one can even do this online (although since Emirates Post fails to provide a map of post office locations, perhaps that's not such a great plan).

The other problem with sending stuff through the regular mail is that it will likely be opened. This practice was undoubtedly initiated in order to prevent my parents from sending me the usual Chippendale's calendar for Christmas, but unfortunately will affect the rest of the population.  Bottom line:  We may rent a post office box in Abu Dhabi, but we might not.

What it costs

1 lb. package via USPS First-class mail:  USD 10.31 -- well, that and the 530 Dhs (USD 144.00) that you'll have to fork over to rent the post office box

2.  Federal Express

FedEx, to me, is the gold standard of postal services.  Why?  Well, mostly because it's a private firm (that means not run by a government).  And the beauty of FedEx-ing things to Abu Dhabi is that the parcels are less likely to be opened, or so I've heard.  The downside with this method is that it doesn't really fit in well with the Shylockian Money Saving Scheme that I adopted long ago, but it might be necessary in a pinch.

What it costs

1 lb. FedEx package from East Coast U.S. to Abu Dhabi:  USD 75.35

3.  Aramex Shop&Ship

Sometimes the good old USPS just won't do.  Like, for instance, when you want to buy something from Amazon.com.  This is when Aramex's Shop&Ship service comes in handy.  For a one time set-up fee of USD 35.00, you can have an Aramex box with a US or UK address that can be used for online shopping, bills, correspondence and so forth.  Of course, then you actually have to pay for the goods to be forwarded to you in Abu Dhabi.  It's still not a bad deal, with the primary downside (in my opinion) being that you can't choose what Aramex forwards to you once it arrives in their hands -- so you might end up paying for junk mail.

What it costs

1 lb. Aramex forwarded package to Abu Dhabi:  Dhs 39, or USD 10.62

4.  Online postal box services

This is a pretty fascinating idea in the mail forwarding realm, and Earth Class Mail seems to be the winning candidate.  The way it works is:  you get an address with Earth Class Mail and they scan the envelope of whatever comes their way.  Then you log on to your account and, after viewing the envelope scans, decide what to have opened and scanned, shredded, recycled, or forwarded to you unopened via snail mail.  ECM seems best designed for small pieces like bills, not parcels.  And of course not everyone would be comfortable having his mail opened, no matter how much the company touts its security measures.  I don't think we'll be using it, but it's worth mentioning here.

What it costs:

ECM operates on a subscription basis.  The basic package of USD 19.95 a month gets you up to 50 pieces of mail receieved, unlimited recycling, shredding, and storage.  But those scans are going to cost you:  each one over the limit (which is zero on the basic package) is another USD 1.50.  And there's a one-time setup fee of USD 25.00.

After writing this and looking at ECM's "professional" package, it seems to me that it would be a fantastic benefit for a company with overseas employees to offer.  For USD 60.00 per month, up to 200 pieces of mail are processed, 45 scans are included (same overcharge of USD 1.50 applies to the extra scans), and there are unlimited numbers of named recipients.  Someone (other than yours truly, because I give out more than enough free advice) would have to look into exactly how to deal with the fact that some folks would go over their allotted amounts while some would only be receiving a few items per month.  But you know what?  That's what Microsoft Excel was created for.

Hope you found this helpful.  Unless you're my mum, in which case I hope this puts your mind at rest.  We're working on it.

T minus four days

I know you're all waiting with baited breath to hear my latest rant over whatever news piece has been published today, or perhaps where to find a nice set of Henckels knives over in the Land o' Lawrence.

Well, you're just going to have to wait another day.  I'm knackered.

The air freight crew (all one of them) spent 7 hours here yesterday packing up our 1,001.2 lbs. of stuff.  After a delicious meal of ready-made whatever from the Waitrose, we rearranged a few more things and closed up a few more boxes.  The container arrived today promptly at 0900 and it took three stout lads from the local removals firm just over an hour to load it. Barring any antics by somali pirates (I'm not even going to dignify them by capitalising the "s" in "somali"), we'll see that again sometime in the last week of September.  The house has been hoovered and dusted, and I'm actually cooking dinner for the first time in several days.

So I hope you'll all pardon me if I don't write a juicy little tidbit about that expat couple who got arrested the other day for kissing each other hello.

Because right now, I just don't care.

Getting a liquor license

It is amazing to me how under-utilised Google is, particularly by those people who seem to need it most.

Have a look around the expat forums and you'll find countless threads starting with something like:    "How do I get a liquor license in Abu Dhabi?"  Do any of these folks realise that they could type that very sentence into a Google search box and the top hit will be this:

http://www.admmi.com/Beverages/get_license.aspx

??

In fact, it actually takes less time to run a Google search than it does to log in to Forum X, start a new thread, and write up a question (well, sometimes these forum posts are in the form of a question, sometimes they seem to be written by people who were absent on the day the concept of a complete sentence was discussed in grammar school).  Not to mention the time cost of inserting all those annoying little emoticons.

Ceteris paribus with respect to time, however, the real problem with going to a forum to ask advice on practical matters is that you get exactly what you pay for:  responses like "I think maybe the license fee is X."

Why would anyone value this over the straight-from-the-horse's-mouth information they can get from the site above?

I confess I don't know the answer to this question, except for my stock response of "half of the population is below average."  But I'm on a campaign to make the process of getting good information even easier than it is now (I expect in a day or so this blog post will be high up on the Google results).

Here's what to do:

Requirement to obtain a liquor license as applies to normal non-Muslim residents in employment within Abu Dhabi:

Fill in Liquor License application form (to be typed) in Arabic.

Provide original passport plus a copy. Also present residential papers. 

Present Labour contract copy with the original.

Attach 2 recent passport sized photos with application form.

If there is doubt of religion (possible due to nationality or name), present religion certificate from either the appropriate embassy or other authority.

Minimum salary requirement must be above 3000-4000 DHS monthly depending on circumstance. Salary Certificate from the applicant’s company must be presented, in Arabic.

Salary Certificate from the company, in Arabic, addressed to the Directorate Gen. Of Police Abu Dhabi - Criminal Investigation Department.

Those who fall into the Drivers category of employment are not allowed to obtain a liquor license.

For renewals old liquor license must be presented.

Also please note that the value of the permit is based on the holder’s salary; up to 20% of the holders salary may be used for alcohol. 

Payment: the charge will be 20% of the license value (for example, should a license value be DHS400, then the charge would be DHS 80.

The completed documents should be taken by the applicant to the Police Directorate (click here to see map).

The Licensing Department is open from 8am-11am on Sundays and Mondays ONLY.

PROs applying on behalf of the employee can go to the Licensing Department on Wednesdays from 8am-11am.

Licences issued will be delivered to you by Empost within a week after submission. DHS 10 will be charged by Empost for delivery.

Now for those of you below the mean (and you know who you are), here's a special gift from me to you, just in case you didn't manage to notice the link to the liquor license application at the bottom of the linked page:

Liquor License Application Form

Ok, that's done.  Of course it's still going to be necessary to actually do a search for this information in order to end up here.  So I offer the following useful link:

www.google.com

Use it.

Cheap eats galore (if you can find them)

It's funny how many people I talk to about Abu Dhabi are surprised to hear how hopping the culinary scene is.  (If you one of those surprised people, check out the Gourmet Abu Dhabi 2009 festival site.)  Yes, it's a city in the middle of a desert, but so is Las Vegas, and I'm sure the latter has many decent eateries (I can't confirm this empirically, as I've never been to Las Vegas and am highly unlikely to set foot there).

Let's take just ONE of the umpteen posh hotels in the city, Le Royal Meridien (remember, this is not the same place as Le Meridien).  A quick look at their website reveals that this hotel alone has nine dining options:

1.  The Shuja Yacht dinner cruise (dinner on a boat)

2.  The Piano Lounge (rather what it sounds like)

3.  Al Fanar (the spaceship restaurant)

4.  Amalfi (de rigueur Italian place)

5.  Soba (Japanese)

6.  L'Opera Brasserie (I still haven't figured out what or where this is)

7.  PJ O'Reilly's (also rather what it sounds like)

8.  Oceans (overpriced, er, delicious seafood)

9.  Zari Zardozi (Indian)

You could stay there for a week and never eat at the same place twice, but you'll pay through the nose for the privilege.

So where to go for a good dinner that won't kill the budget?  Fortunately there are scads of little places - some dirt cheap, some just a hell of a lot more reasonable than what you'll find in a four-star hotel.  TimeOut Abu Dhabi recently published a list of 31 cheap eats, and if you add in the remaining 35 or so from the average-priced list, there's a wealth of places to choose from (I don't recommend 49ers The Gold Rush unless you happen to be a single male looking for, um, company).

There's just one tiny little wrinkle.

Most of the restaurant and café reviews don't actually provide essential information on location.  And even those that do include this minor detail do it in a pretty vague way.  Take, for example, the write up on my favourite Persian restaurant, Hatam al Tae, which offers this handy map:

Great!  Super!  Whoohoo!  A map showing where this restaurant is!  Except that Hatam al Tae is actually located on the other side of Hamdan Street, more like here:

I know what you're thinking:  "Big deal, so it's across the street.  Not a problem."  But Hamdan Street is fairly wide, noisy, and chock-a-block full of cars.  And Hatam al Tae is a wee place, tucked in a corner off the main road.  So you might miss it.

Note to TimeOut editorial staff:  A map that provides flawed information as to the location of a business is about as useful as a clock that's run down.  Except that a broken clock is right twice a day, whereas a bad map is never right.

Being the Pollyanna that I am, however, I see a bright side to all of this:

When you go looking for that elusive cheap eat in Abu Dhabi, I guarantee you'll burn more calories looking for the place than you'll consume once you're there.

Newsflash: "High-speed ferry service for Abu Dhabi" from The National

As much as I love to poke a bit of fun at The National, it really is a pretty good newspaper.

For starters, it's in English.  It's also much more Abu Dhabi-centric than the Gulf News.  And it has a great cryptic crossword (although the Khaleej Times puzzle section beats everyone hands-down).  So I wake up each morning and I read The National online.

I should amend that:  I don't actually read the whole newspaper.  I read the headlines.  When I see a headline that sounds interesting or particularly relevant I read the story.  So I'm probably going to skip things like "Footballer finds career as trick expert despite disability," "The orange blanket sapping the life out of Baghdad," and "Dubai refuses Sex and the City filming."  (Okay, okay, I actually did read that last one as it's going to be my next topic.)

What captured my interest in today's paper was the announcement of a high-speed ferry service to Qatar and Bahrain.  This is great news, because it means if we ever want to go to either place, we don't have to drive through Saudi Arabia:

Not only does that cut the travelling time down, but it means we don't have to EVER have to go through Saudi.  Now that's some pretty good news.