Crime and Punishment

For some reason, even though I live in the Land of No Crime, it seems there has been a rash of news stories dealing with criminals lately. Or at least dealing with people who are being fined, sentenced (sometimes to life), or beheaded.

A week and a half ago, The National ran this story:

Lebanese man avoids execution for witchcraft

Riiiiiiight. I'm not even going near the word 'avoids' because it wouldn't surprise me if it were still going to happen. But this guy was picked up as soon as he hit the Saudi border during his Haj trip by the religious police because he had a television show where he made little predictions a la Miss Cleo. And now he's sitting around waiting to see (see?) if he'll be beheaded on the next National Beheading Day. Word of advice: don't get caught reading your horoscope in Saudi.

Today we find another exciting piece:

Mother of window fall boy gets two-year sentence for sex out of wedlock

Window Fall Boy? Well, I suppose that's what you call a boy who fell out of a window. Here's the brief version: Emirati divorceé leaves her three year old son with the maid during the night to go meet her lover. Kid falls from window. Result? Mother gets two years in prison for sex-out-of-wedlock and two months for negligence resulting in death of her son. Maid gets one month in prison followed by deportation. Lover gets two years in prison for sex-out-of-wedlock. I like these kinds of stories, because they shine a nice, bright light on where the priorities are in the system over here.

Also today, and also in The National, we read:

Pregnant trafficker is jailed for life

There have been so many drug-related stories lately that I expected another one about five kilos of heroin. But no, but no. This gal was trafficking valium. About US$80,000 worth. And as if life in prison isn't enough, she's also been fined 50,000 Dhs (US$13K). One has to wonder what the point of that is. But it gets even better: prosecutors are asking for the death penalty. The death penalty for trying to sell valium.

And finally:

Gynaecologist jailed after woman's death

The abject lack of details in this case just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe they're out there somewhere. Maybe they're not.

Newsflash: Public (in)decency in the UAE

Thanks to The Gulf News, we residents of the UAE now have a handy pictorial guide to being decent in the desert -- in other words, dressing and behaving in an 'acceptable' manner in terms of cultural stupidities sensibilities.

One of the captions (about that bastion of cultural freedom, Sharjah -- you know, the Emirate that has recently put a ban on the lungi) states:

'People are advised not to wear very short shorts or skirts above the knee.'

Another image from Mall of the Emirates in Dubai advises mallgoers to 'Please wear respectful clothing':

Whew! All I can say is 'thank you, Gulf News!' Now I know how to be a good UAE resident.

Except for this one tiny little problem...

A few days before this guide to non-offensiveness was published, the very same newspaper ran a series of photos from Dubai Fashion Week (whenever that was -- I happened to be conspicuously absent). My favourite is this:

Holy bodacious tatas, Batman! Do you see those puppies? I dare this gal (or anyone else) to walk into Mall of the Emirates wearing this thing. I think Julia Roberts had more on in the first scene of Pretty Woman.

Sex in the city

No, I'm not talking about the television show.

Just in the past week, I've read four separate articles about people going to jail over some sort of sex-related activity -- from texting, to kissing, to homosexual activity, to sex in a car:

From Gulf News, 12 March 2010:

Couple to Appeal Public Kissing Verdict in Dubai

From The National, 17 March 2010:

Airline Pair Jailed Over Sex Texting

From Gulf News, 18 March 2010:

Two Men Charged for Sex in a Cemetery

From Gulf News, 20 March 2010:

Ras Al Khaimah Sex-in-Car Duo to Serve Sentence

All of the offenders in these cases are facing varying amounts of jail time followed by deportation. Some of them were also fined for consuming alcohol (this one really gets my knickers in a twist -- anyone wanna guess how many bars there are in Dubai? Perhaps the idea is that it's ok for the bars to be there as long as no one actually drinks the product for sale). Some were married, some were not, some were married to other people.

Go ahead, say what you want about the immorality of extra-marital relations, homosexual activity, or public displays of affection. I'll listen patiently, but the fact is I don't really care. I don't find much offensive in this world (except maybe for Barack Obama and any sort of mashed legume dish). But of course people here have a different offense-threshold.

And the state sanctions this.

I mean, come ON folks -- does a couple of expats really deserve a month or two in jail because someone witnessed them kissing in a bar at zero dark-thirty? Are people able to sleep better now that they know the Emirates Airlines employees who (maybe) sent each other sexy text messages are going to rot in the slammer for a while?

Surely there must be more important things to worry about.

Newsflash: "Don't mind the gaze: you're not in London anymore" from The National

Each time I read The National and come across a bad piece of journalism I think "it can't get any worse than this."

Then the next day's edition hits the streets.

Today, this article discusses THE GAZE -- that omnipresent stare that western women who travel to the Gulf are warned about.

To be honest, I don't mind that much if the editors at The National feel the need to fill a few empty column-inches with editorials about how much women get stared at and whether it should or shouldn't bother them.  I DO mind, however, when rubbish like this makes its way into the presses.  So bear with me while I attack critique the journalist and her two fatal mistakes.

Despite professing to follow the rule of "never say never or always...", she has "come to notice that the western women who complain about the unwanted gaze are seemingly always [my emphasis] women that are by normal standards plain or self-conscious."  Hmm.  If I remember correctly, I've done a fair amount of complaining about people staring at me when I walk around the streets.  Guess that means I'm either plain or self-conscious.  A quick check in the mirror dismisses the first hypothesis, so I must be the latter.  Thanks, Madam Journalist, for pointing that out to me.

The second mistake is better.  Or worse.  Depending on how one looks at it.  Our journalist reports taking a blonde woman's "...complaints about the unwanted attention with a grain of salt...But then again, I am not blonde so I don't know.  Or maybe I know better because I am not blonde."

Let's repeat the last sentence:

"Or maybe I know better because I am not blonde."

Wow!  What a slam!  Well, that was my first thought.  My second just chuckled at the fact that the brunette who wrote that has a Master's degree.

This blonde has a Doctor of Philosphy.

Newsflash: H1N1 health certificate required for expats

Or maybe not.

Consider these two news articles:

Gulf News, 27 July:  "Malls to be provided with thermal scanners"

The National, 28 July:  "Ministry denies call for swine flu certificate"

At first glance, you might shrug and say "so what."  Two completely different pieces of news, right?  Well, not in that bastion of journalistic talent out in the desert.

There are so many things wrong with this I don't know where to start.

The first article, despite carrying the headline about malls and thermal scanners, leads with the following:

Abu Dhabi: Expatriates who are working in the UAE and are on vacation abroad will have to produce a medical certificate that proves they are not infected with H1N1 virus before returning to the country. The move will be implemented from August.

Expatriates who are working?  What about tourists and expat housewives?  And what if they're working expats who didn't leave to go on vacation, but on business?  What is the issuing authority of the medical certificate?  Is it time-sensitive?

Farther down (much farther down), there's a little snippet having something to do with putting thermal scanners in malls.  Then there's some other stuff about incoming flights.

Huh?  What school of journalism did this guy attend where they taught him to generate a headline based on the content of the pre-antepenultimate paragraph in his article (which, by the way, has more than four paragraphs)?  This really upsets me.  Almost as much as having to type out "pre-antepenultimate." If you're not laughing yet, be sure to check out the byline:  this fellow is the Abu Dhabi EDITOR.

It gets better.

According to today's National, the Ministry of Health denies all claims that it resolved to implement a system where returning expats are required to produce H1N1 certificates.  It also denies that thermal scanners will be installed in malls.

I am waiting with baited breath for tomorrow's Gulf News.

Education in the Desert

I thought it would be nice to take a break from the rental market rants and talk about higher education in Abu Dhabi since, well, it's something I'm going to jump into feet first in a few short weeks.

NYU seems to be doing the same thing, just on a slightly grander scale, per yesterday's edition of The National:

"Make No Little Plans"

There are a number of universities in the UAE already, but there aren't really any branches of American universities there.  The unfortunate demise of George Mason University's Ras al Khaimah campus earlier this year is a complete mystery to me -- most articles have some vague reference "the economic downturn" or "budget and control issues" being at fault.  I can't even figure out what their target student population was.

So now, NYU is embarking on an even bigger campus project in Abu Dhabi.  From my perspective, there are three interesting points to consider:

1. This will be (as far as I know) the first higher education institution in Abu Dhabi to focus on a liberal arts curriculum.
   
2. The campus will be something of "a legal bubble" in terms of internet access and social/academic freedom.
   
3. The admissions standards will be "highly selective."
   

Let's discuss these one by one.

First of all, what's going on with NYUAD's core curriculum description?

• Pathways of World Literature
• Structures of Thought and Society
• Art, Technology, and Invention
• Ideas and Methods of Science

I don't know about you, but this reminds me of a great little story called "The Emperor's New Clothes."  Why can't they just say that the core curriculum is the same old tried and true "literature/social science/fine arts/science" set that everyone KNOWS it is.  Sigh.

But whatever NYUAD wants to call it, the very idea of a liberal arts focus is stirring up some debate in the ether -- particularly with respect to how it will appeal to potential Emirati students.  (There are also a few ESL teacher types on Dave's ESL Cafe who seem to have fun bashing the liberal arts in general - ah well.  Some of them were probably my students back when I taught the one and only postgraduate education course that I ever will teach.)

I actually like the liberal arts.  And I certainly don't think it's useless, as will be confirmed after five minutes of conversation with any graduate of the superb institution St. John's College in Annapolis, Maryland.  The question is whether students in Abu Dhabi are ready for this type of academic venture.  Remember, we're talking about a city that has ONE public library in the Abu Dhabi Cultural Foundation.  A quick look through their online catalog tells me that the following are available:

A few books by Steven Pinker

Melville's Moby Dick

Various Isaac Asimov

Various Noam Chomsky

Various Mark Twain

Cervantes' Don Quixote

and some Tolstoy

as well as tons of other stuff.

Looks good so far, right?  Well, I ventured a bit further into the literary corners of my mind and searched for some books that I didn't think would be there:

anything by Chaim Potok

anything by Henry Miller

Lady Chatterly's Lover

E.M. Forster's Maurice

anything by Vladimir Nabokov

anything by Ray Bradbury

Atlas Shrugged, or anything by Ayn Rand

the bible

And guess what - they weren't there.

There's a reason these books aren't in the Cultural Foundation's library catalogue, and I'll bet you can figure it out, so I don't need to go into details here.  The metaquestion is more interesting:

How is a (true) liberal arts curriculum compatible with cultural restraints?

Maybe NYU will have the answer to that, which brings me to the next interesting thing about NYUAD:  the legal bubble.

According to this NYU News article of April 2009, "many of the emirate's more controversial laws and regulations will be lifted" on its Abu Dhabi campus.  Like access to blocked internet sites, including the famously popular Skype.com, which I'll address in another post.  Or homosexuality.  Or academic freedom.  So there's a bit of a contradiction here:  those American students who decide to attend NYUAD won't really be immersing themselves in local culture, and those local students may find themselves in a cultural bubble that defies their own customs.  This is gonna be interesting to watch.

Finally, the "highly selective" admissions standards beg the question as to what the target student population is, and whether Emirati students will constitute a significant part of it.  Don't get me wrong -- I'm not assuming that the average college-bound Emirati can't handle it, but this recent article in The National states that

"...only 13 per cent of applicants to federal universities scored enough in their English exams to bypass remedial courses."

THIRTEEN per cent.

I really AM pulling for NYU's success out there, but like I said, this is gonna be interesting to watch.

Newsflash: "Abu Dhabi Rents Fall to Compete with Dubai" from The National

Today's National reports that rents in the capital (Abu Dhabi) are finally starting to fall as the following occur:

1. People leave Abu Dhabi permanently
2. People choose to leave Abu Dhabi and rent in Dubai
3. 500,000 more new villas have become available at Al Raha Gardens

Abu Dhabi Rents Fall to Compete with Dubai

And Emirates Business24/7 tells us the same:

Tenants in Abu Dhabi Expect 50% Lower Rents

This all seems like great news.  Sort of like the weatherman predicting 78 degrees and sunny.

Then it rains.

See, we can't really ever have complete confidence in the weatherman, because he isn't always right.  Nor can we have much confidence in newspaper reports about rental markets in Abu Dhabi, because they change their minds every couple of weeks.

On 28 June 2009, just two short weeks ago, Emirates Business24/7 reported the following:

Rents Rise in Capital Defying Forecasts

In case you don't feel like reading the articles, here's a one-sentence summary of them:

28 June 2009:   Rents are increasing in Abu Dhabi.

14 July 2009: Rents are decreasing in Abu Dhabi.

The more I think about it, the more it's NOT like the weatherman.  The weatherman doesn't tell us that it will be both sunny and rainy.  Some Abu Dhabi journalists, though, appear to be doing just that.

Newsflash: "Lewd stares distressing for women" from The National

You've got to love The National.  First of all, this article appears to have been printed in the "Sport" section.  Hmmm.

http://www.thenational.ae/article/20090711/WEEKENDER/707109836/0/sport

In case you don't feel like reading it, here's a one-sentence summary:

Western women get stared at in Abu Dhabi.

There are plenty of little cultural tidbits in this article, sprinkled around like hundreds and thousands on a cupcake, but my favourite is this quote:

"Emirati men are courteous.  They never stare."

Well, this might be true, but it's also true that I've been honked at, asked to sunbathe, and invited to the beach for a swim by men who are unmistakeably Emiratis.

So what is this all about?  In my mind it seems it would have been more appropriate for the implied quantifier to be the existential, as in 

Ex NOT STARE(x), where x = Emirati Man

rather than the implied universal

Ax NOT STARE(x)

But that could just be the frustrated semanticist in me talking.

I think what's at the heart of the matter is this:  For some reason, expats have the idea that they should never, ever, say anything negative about life in Abu Dhabi.  Don't take my word for it -- go log on to some Abu Dhabi expat forum, start a thread titled "One thing I hate about Abu Dhabi."  Then count the minutes until some moderator deletes your post and gives you a little electronic slap on the hand.  I'm not advocating that we all bash Abu Dhabi, but let's try not ignore the fact that certain aspects of life there are dislikeable, and let's not apologise for disliking them.

Including the fact that men, some of whom are Emiratis, stare at us.