Wednesday 14 April 2010

Crime and Punishment

For some reason, even though I live in the Land of No Crime, it seems there has been a rash of news stories dealing with criminals lately. Or at least dealing with people who are being fined, sentenced (sometimes to life), or beheaded.

A week and a half ago, The National ran this story:


Riiiiiiight. I'm not even going near the word 'avoids' because it wouldn't surprise me if it were still going to happen. But this guy was picked up as soon as he hit the Saudi border during his Haj trip by the religious police because he had a television show where he made little predictions a la Miss Cleo. And now he's sitting around waiting to see (see?) if he'll be beheaded on the next National Beheading Day. Word of advice: don't get caught reading your horoscope in Saudi.

Today we find another exciting piece:


Window Fall Boy? Well, I suppose that's what you call a boy who fell out of a window. Here's the brief version: Emirati divorceé leaves her three year old son with the maid during the night to go meet her lover. Kid falls from window. Result? Mother gets two years in prison for sex-out-of-wedlock and two months for negligence resulting in death of her son. Maid gets one month in prison followed by deportation. Lover gets two years in prison for sex-out-of-wedlock. I like these kinds of stories, because they shine a nice, bright light on where the priorities are in the system over here.

Also today, and also in The National, we read:


There have been so many drug-related stories lately that I expected another one about five kilos of heroin. But no, but no. This gal was trafficking valium. About US$80,000 worth. And as if life in prison isn't enough, she's also been fined 50,000 Dhs (US$13K). One has to wonder what the point of that is. But it gets even better: prosecutors are asking for the death penalty. The death penalty for trying to sell valium.

And finally:


The abject lack of details in this case just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe they're out there somewhere. Maybe they're not.

Sunday 11 April 2010

Newsflash: Public (in)decency in the UAE

Thanks to The Gulf News, we residents of the UAE now have a handy pictorial guide to being decent in the desert -- in other words, dressing and behaving in an 'acceptable' manner in terms of cultural stupidities sensibilities.

One of the captions (about that bastion of cultural freedom, Sharjah -- you know, the Emirate that has recently put a ban on the lungi) states:

'People are advised not to wear very short shorts or skirts above the knee.'

Another image from Mall of the Emirates in Dubai advises mallgoers to 'Please wear respectful clothing':



Whew! All I can say is 'thank you, Gulf News!' Now I know how to be a good UAE resident.

Except for this one tiny little problem...

A few days before this guide to non-offensiveness was published, the very same newspaper ran a series of photos from Dubai Fashion Week (whenever that was -- I happened to be conspicuously absent). My favourite is this:



Holy bodacious tatas, Batman! Do you see those puppies? I dare this gal (or anyone else) to walk into Mall of the Emirates wearing this thing. I think Julia Roberts had more on in the first scene of Pretty Woman.